still thinking about boys…

Korean boys part 2 😉

Over a year ago I posted a blog about Korean men and how they differ from Canadian men. You can read it here. Over the past year I have done my fair share of dating, especially with Korean guys. Here are a few more ways that dating Korean guys can differ from dating Canadians:

Korean men text you back. Like, right away. And they get verrryy antsy if you don’t text back immediately in return. It’s a nice change from the Canadian ‘I’ll give it a few hours/days so I don’t seem needy’ approach however it can get f*&#ing annoying overwhelming. I don’t like being glued to my phone and Korean men sometimes find this a difficult to accept.

Now if any of THESE guys were on the other end… I would be texting back INSTANTLY ^^

They make that inhaling shh noise when they’re thinking. I know this sounds funny but anyone who lives in Korea knows what I’m talking about! It’s usually accompanied by a head-tilt.

Hair and make-up. Yes, you read that correctly. A lot of Korean men wear make-up. Personally, nobody that I have dated has worn make-up (I think!) but there is definitely a growing interest in the man cover-up and eyeliner especially. Make-up withstanding, all the Korean men I know are very well-groomed, always use nice skin-care products and never leave the house without styling their hair.

Doesn’t show BB cream but he totally has it on.

They tend to jump into relationships. At home, I found that dating was mostly to have fun and get to know somebody before you decided you wanted to be bf/gf. Several times at home, I found that I wanted a more serious relationship with guys who weren’t ready to commit, even after weeks or months of dating. In Korea, I have found it’s the opposite. On three separate occasions, I have dated guys who wanted to move way quicker into a serious relationship than I did. For example, saying the ‘L’ word after only knowing each other for 5 days!

“I will make you so happy” uuuuuuuuuuumm..!

Skinship. In Korea in general, you don’t see as much PDA as you do in North America. A lot of couples will go on several dates before they even hold hands. ‘Skinship’ is a Konglish term that encompasses anything from holding hands, to massaging, and cuddling. You will hear in interviews that certain celebrities ‘enjoy skinship’ while others are more hesitant. A few guys have remarked that I like skinship, and while to me it’s fun and innocent to touch someone’s skin, it can mean a whole lot more to a Korean guy.

OMG! Scandaaaaalllll ~~

Work. A lot. Like a lot. I dated a guy who wouldn’t get off work until midnight most days and had to be there at 8 the next day. Dating a K-town man requires a lot of flexibility, because their job will not give them any. Long hours and not much time off… and it doesn’t stop if you get married! My Korean co-workers who are married say their husbands are the same. LG, Samsung, Hyundai (to name a few)… WHY U NO GIVE UR EMPLOYEES A BREAK!

Seriously, I don’t know how they do it.

Love sleeping on the floor. Many Koreans grow up sleeping on floor mats, so having a snooze on the hardwood can be nostalgic for them. Also, it’s really good for the back and you save room space ’cause your bed can fit in a closet!

Sorry adjussi, you’re doing it wrong.

I want to say again that I am not trying to stereotype anyone, I am just basing this on my own experiences. Not all Korean men will do all the things I have described! My boyfriend has grown up in Seoul and acts more American that I do most of the time! Ok, maybe he does a few of these things but that’s why I like him so much 😉 kkkk

On our second date ^^

I’ll leave you with a few more reasons to appreciate Korean guys :)!

The gorgeous Ricky Kim (Actor, half Korean)

Lee Byung Hun (actor)

Seungriiiiii! Aka. VictoRI from B-B-Big Bang

macho men

For some reason it seems like some weeks there are just no new songs out and then BAM! In a few days there are 10 that you can’t stop watching and talking about. Recently, I have noticed a high discrepancy in the manliness of a lot of popular (male) K-pop singers.

Exhibit A – Dazzling Girl by SHINee

Clearly SHINee is on the bottom of the manliness scale. This video is of this “plain” girl who Shinee transforms into a “dazzling” girl. The boys show off their make-up artist and designer skills while dancing around in skirts and purple feathers. I’m pretty sure this is ultra-gayfeminine behaviour even by K-pop star standards. Hey, if some of the members are gay then all the power to them, but I really don’t think a ‘gay best friend’ image was the intention of this video.

Exhibit B – Please don’t by K.Will

Watch the video before you read below!

OK. Hopefully you watched the video till the end and I’m not spoiling anything by saying I LOVE THE TWIST AT THE END!!! It blew my mind the first time I saw it and I had to immediately watch from the beginning again. In Korea, there is not a lot of presence of LBGT-ness in the media or public. Yes, they have a gay pride parade but that’s the only time I’ve seen it discussed and celebrated out in the open – unlike Canada where we are loud and proud about our LBGT community. So people back home – the end of the video might not seem like a big deal to you but in Korea it is a huge risk and a small step forward I would say.

Exhibit C – Up by Epik High 

Moving up on the MAN-scale! Epik High has been away for a few years and they are about to release their new album ’99’. I don’t know Epik High too well but what I do know, I like! They are a bit more edgy and hip hop than your typical boy band and they collaborate with a lot of different artists. I love how they can go from a soulful female chorus to a fun upbeat verse. ‘Up’ is basically just about getting back up after you fall – it’s a super fun and inspiring song!

Exhibit D – Nillili Mambo by Block B

Despite all the make-up, I put Block B at the top of the macho ratings for this week’s new videos. The video actually has a story line and the boys play gangsta-ish jewel thieves. The very end of the video was a bit too cutesy but P.O.’s super deep, gruff voice makes up for it. OK, so they’re probably not actually gangstar-ish guys in real life, but let’s face it, all the singers in these videos are just acting, and I think Block B pulled it off!

To re-cap: there are lots of new videos out this week and these four caught my interest for obvious reasons because of the super-girlie to mean-muggin levels of macho-ness portrayed in them. Hope you liked them too :)!

what’s age got to do with it?

When I was home, naturally I was drilled for tidbits and stories about Korean life. One thing that really baffled people was the difference between Korean age and International age. If a Korean person tells you their age you usually have to subtract one or two years from what they say to get their International age.

In brief, Koreans consider a newborn a year old because of the time spent in the womb. Also, everyone’s age changes at the lunar new year, so in January everybody’s age goes up one year. A baby could be born December 31 and be considered 2 years old the next day. Think of it like this – the January after a child is born is the second calendar year that he/she has been alive, so he/she is considered two years old. This could mean that they’re only 3 days old but that’s just how it’s done.

but I don’t wanna be 4 yet!

This is common in China and other East Asian countries. Now, as crazy foreign as this seems to me, I am going to assume that there is some kind of ancient wisdom and reasoning behind it because Koreans take their age very seriously.

Seriously, the first thing that most Koreans will ask you after your name is your age. Depending on who’s asking I will either give my International age (24) or my Korean age (26). For dating purposes, I will tell a guy that I’m whatever age is closest to his without being older than him (if he’s 25, I’m 24 but if he’s 28, I’m 26). Koreans don’t usually date too far outside their age bracket (maybe a one year leeway). For that matter, Koreans don’t usually make friends outside their age bracket.

A Korean friend once told me that you can only call someone your ‘chingu’ (friend) if they are the same age as you. If you are a year younger than someone, you have to call them by the correct term. If you are a girl talking to an older guy, you call him ‘oppa’ and talking to an older girl you call her ‘oni’. If you are a guy talking to an older guy you call him ‘hyong’ and talking to an older girl you call her ‘nuna’. These terms actually mean big brother and sister, which can be confusing but that’s for another blog.

Calling a guy ‘oppa’ is supposed to be really cute… sometimes :P!

Someone’s age also depends on how you conjugate your verbs when you’re speaking to them, but we won’t get into that either. This is why it’s so important to know people’s ages right away.

The bottom line is that age is a huge factor in Korean culture and although it’s very different from the Canadian attitude, there is so much more respect towards elders (even if they’re only a few years older) than there is back home.

after all…. age is just a number, right?

thinking about boys… who does that!?

So recently I’ve been posting about my personal behaviours and preferences that have changed over the past year, but there are a lot of cultural differences that I haven’t talked about… specifically to do with the male species.

Thus, I have taken upon the arduous task of stalking hot Korean men analyzing the Korean male psyche in order to better understand our cultural differences. “,)

I don’t want to sound like I’m stereotyping Canadian men and Korean men into two categories. Everyone is a unique individual after all, and there are so many Korean-Canadians that it’s impossible to segregate them by origin. However, the following observations are based on behaviours that I have rarely witnessed in Canada and witness ALL THE TIME here in Korea.

1. Man-love. One thing I didn’t realize when I came to Korea is how much Korean men are into each other. I don’t mean they’re gay, and I made the mistake of assuming that several times, they’re just very comfortable holding each others’ hands or having their arms around each other. It occurs more often after several drinks, but it just seems to be a part of the culture. Even my students love to hold hands, sit on each others’ laps and kiss on occasion.

…no joke.

2. Fashion. Korean men seem to be extremely fashion-conscious. And the fashion choices they make are very different from Canadians. For example, bowties and thick-framed glasses are not just for hipsters. Also, over the course of this year I have seen more men wearing white pants than I have seen ever. Basically they all look like models and it’s intimidating because they’re all so much better dressed than I am.

Just your average guy…

3. Murses and Purses. One thing that I noticed when I first got here that was very foreign to me is Korean men’s willingness to carry their girlfriend’s purses. You will see man after man with a beautiful handbag at their sides and it’s not always their girlfriend’s… Korean men tend to carry murses (man purses) that can be similar in style to women’s purses. In Canada most men would only carry my purse if it came with a sign that says “I’m not gay!” So naturally I was very curious when a guy offered to carry mine. When I asked why he just shrugged and said “it looked heavy”.

4. Couple attire. Couple culture is HUGE in Korea. There are couple cafes, couple key rings, couple everything and the most apparent and wide-spread is couple clothing. Basically many couples will wear a matching piece of clothing to tell the world that they’re dating. If they’re really into couple clothes, they will dress head-to-toe in matching outfits. I have seen matching shoes, winter jackets, bunny-ear-headbands, bathing suits, mittens, glasses, you name it! This is definitely a behaviour that I have never ever witnessed in Canada.

Couple shirts done right!

5. Dancing. Oh my… where to begin. Koreans. Know. How. To. Dance. Seriously, my friends and I go to clubs every weekend just to watch them dance. They love to shuffle and I’d say 90% of guys are amazing at it. We have gone to a few music festivals as well and we always remark on how guys (and girls) just LOVE to party. They don’t need tons of booze or other drugs, they are just so into the music and love spending time with their buddies (see #1) that they just have a blast.

<3<3<3 big bang big bang big bang…. oh yeah… cool dancing!

6. Slender is sexy. Body-types in general are slightly more slender in Korea and the ideal is much more slender than what we are used to in North America. Being curvy doesn’t appear to be the ideal for women and for men being big and buff isn’t as revered as it is back home. Many famous men that Korean women go CRAZY for are actually very very slender and quite feminine (in my eyes). The one place that I have seen really really buff Korean men is at Hamilton Hotel pool! It is a whoooole other side of Korea at that place! Also the gyms are a good place to spot some muscles ;)!

girlie or hot? or both?

7. Family ties. Korea in general is very family-oriented. Usually people live with their parents until they get married and grandparents quite often will live with the family. Korean men seem to take this for granted and won’t hesitate to tell you that they spent the weekend making kimchi with their grandmother. It’s adorable, but a bit intimidating when you want to start a relationship with someone. Especially because many (not all!) Korean families want their sons to marry Korean women only.

8. Considerateness. I have often remarked on how chivalrous Korean men are. The dating culture here is reminiscent of the 50’s in Canada… the men pay for everything, open doors, and are generally very romantic. They seem to want to take care of their girlfriends, and they’ll do this in small gestures like getting their gfs snacks during their ‘time of the month’ or doing some impromptu reflexology. Not being used to this, I find these little considerations really sweet but unnecessary, whereas Korean women demand expect this kind of behaviour from their boyfriends.

Overall, Korean men are more fashion-forward, sweet and – let’s face it – feminine than Canadian men and when one first arrives in Korea there can be a lot of misconceptions about them if you don’t know the culture. Again, I’m not saying that all Korean men are flower boys or that all Canadian guys are burly bush lads or stoner snowboarders, I’m just telling it like I see.

Daesung from BB… just for fun! ^^

Please comment to add more ‘observations’ ;)!